Pastoral Care 1

I'm seated in one of New Haven's many coffee shops. This one's open until midnight, so I spend a few nights here each week studying late.

I'm working on a paper for Pastoral Care, an interview of Nanette Sawyer, Pastor at Wicker Park Grace. At the same time, I'm trying to shut out the conversation that's happening next to me so that I can concentrate. Three undergraduates are talking about a bulimic student, roommate to one of them, possible interventions, annoyances, habits, and how much urgency they should have with this young lady. They are struggling with their friend's (acquaintance's) problem, too. They're just a couple of feet from me, so it's almost like I'm in the conversation. I'm thinking about what I know about bulimia and how I would "advise" someone if he or she came to me with the concern that these gals have. How would I counsel someone if they were bulimic and came to me to talk about, ya know, stuff?

I'm sensing the problem that a lot of pastors might have (though I'm not suggesting that I am now or will be a pastor - I'm here for the ride for now). When do you shut out the problems? These young women aren't seeking pastoral care, of course, and that's the first signal of what to do - nothing (I think). Do you shut off attention to what's wrong so that you can get your work done or attend to other things? You must, but I'm sure there's a lot of self-talk involved in making those decisions or in developing an approach to the countless problems you will encounter in a day.

For now, I've just put in earphones and am listening to the Naples Philharmonic Orchestra sing Mozart's Requiem. My mom and dad are in the chorale and sang in this performance. The Lacrimosa was particularly great.

Irony? Sometimes we're full of it.

"I've really learned a lot"

The good news is that The Recyclery is moving. (Remember that place?) It's growing. It can do more now.



















The Recyclery will operate a storefront on the north edge of Rogers Park, a change from its current workspace-only operation. There, it will sell bikes and perhaps be able to do repairs for customers (I'm making up the last possibility).

It has needed a bigger space for a while. In the Evanston basement shop, there were only five or six workstands, and volunteers and "guests" often had to get creative to have enough work space. People share tools, find parts for each other, and often have to work together to fix problems. Sometimes people leave crap lying around or don't do what you think they should do. Things are messy. (Apparently, life will never be anything but messy, either.) That's part of participating in a place like The Recyclery, though. Sometimes there's chaos, but that means that people are working. More importantly, people are learning skills and perhaps experiencing a bit of community. Sometimes you begin to appreciate its messiness because of the heart and spirit behind it and what happens to you when you've spent a night working on something for someone else and you are happy, or at least have had a few hours of peace. A perfect setup isn't ever really perfect anyway.

I remember lying in bed last year in Honduras. I had a vision (not a wacko vision, just a thought with pictures) of walking in to the main room of The Recyclery. There were a few people in there, music was playing, and the place was alive. Fro, a great friend and volunteer there, gave me a big welcome and I felt the warmth of the spirit of that place. That night, that instant, I knew I would miss The Recyclery when I moved. Few places feel like home, and perhaps that's been one of the places that has come close.

It's moving to 7628 N. Paulina St. Chicago, IL, and will probably be up and running this summer. For now, there still is Open Shop in the basement shop on 713 Seward in Evanston. Here's a map. I also know they could use some help preparing the space and making the move. If you're looking for a way to help out something special, this is a chance.

Some of you have been involved in it already. Thank you.

So, in honor of the move and the good things it does, I send these songs:


1.

2.

3. No Youtube video for this one: http://mfdz.com/track/2691

See you!

edit: I forgot this one!

I like this one right now

(correct - I didn't hear this song until 2009)
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A poem:

A Gift
by Kathryn Starbuck

Who is that creature
and who does he want?
Me, I trust. I do not
attempt to call out his
name for fear he will
tread on me. What do
you believe, he asks.

That we all want to be
alone, I reply, except when
we do not; that the world
was open to my sorrow
and ate most of it; that
today is a gift and I am
ready to receive you.

----
have a lovely Sunday

presidential parsnips

Obamas to Plant White House Vegetable Garden

Well, that's pretty awesome. I would plant beets, though.

(thanks, Justin)

I'm not trying to be creepy, but it's not hard to notice

At Koffee on Audubon (which now has soymilk on their bar), a girl sits down almost across from me and opens her copy of The Concept of Irony. A few minutes later, a guy, whom I've seen in here before reading philosophy and history, walks up to her and leans over to put his face right up to hers. They exchange quiet words and a brief kiss. He sits next to her, not across from her, and sets up his laptop to do whatever it is he's got to do. They sit, working independently. Later, she chokes a little on her coffee, and he's there to make sure she's OK. They're occasionally intimate (huggy) physically and verbally. That is some of the good stuff in life.

Love it

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I'm back from El Salvador. Here are a few pictures of what we did, including election observation:





















Vote counting






























ballot box

















A church constructed from what was around. I wonder what it will be like when rainy season starts.

















(Roughly: This land will not be donated. It cost us sweat and blood.)
The government wants some people to donate their land so that they can widen the highway to a planned hotel near the coast.

More to come. Many more coming on Flickr.

What gives us life?

We're leaving in 4, er 3 hours for El Salvador. We take a shuttle to a train to JFK in New York for a five-hour flight to San Salvador's Comalpa Airport. Then we go by car to the church, San Juan Evangelista, in San Salvador. That might be up to an hour in the car. No se.

The Salvadoran presidential election is on March 15. Keep your eyes on what's happening. We will be election monitors.

I'm tired now, so there won't be much elegantly written here:

Tonight I went with a few friends to see Watchmen. We walked out before the film finished. There was over-the-top violence, and, frankly, I don't need to see a film playing with violence like that, including threat of rape. My tolerance for gratuitous violence and gore has decreased in the past two years, especially since returning from Honduras last year. I know the world is not a peaceful place. I know torture and violence are real. I can't stomach watching them, at least not in a movie like Watchmen. I sat in the theater thinking, 'This is a waste of my time. I have more important things to be doing right now.' These aren't save-the-world type things, either. I needed to pack, I needed to organize what schoolwork to take down there. I have to read and write and read and write forever.

In school, we spend a lot of time looking at some of the..uh, bad things in the world. My classes look at racism, imperialist foreign policy (couched in religious terms), human emotional suffering - to name the broad categories. Am I forgetting what's good about life? I wonder.

El Salvador won't be easy. I anticipate that some of the disappointment, despair that I experienced while watching Watchmen is related to what I felt years ago watching Romero. We are going to learn directly from people who lived during that time and when the other martyrs were killed in 1989. I want to see more of what is life-giving. (As I was watching a lovemaking scene begin in Watchmen, I was reminded how life-giving that can be. Then the scene devolved into something close to porn. blech.) Does any of this make sense? Do you know what is life-giving for you? I know that political violence is still happening in El Salvador. I know that gang violence is surging. Somehow, I anticipate finding something life-giving for down there.







Not really unrelated:

Some words from Robert Thompson's blog:

Real religion is not hierarchical or doctrinal, it’s relational....

...A continuing lesson of life is that nothing is perfect and relationships are complicated.

Sometimes the best thing to do is hold hands.

He's the minister at Lake Street Church in Evanston, which is a very smart church.

-

Adios, soon

En unos dias.... ahem: In a few days, I'll be flying to El Salvador with nine other YDS students to stay for nine days. We're going to learn more about El Salvador and some of the religious political history that has shaped it. We're also going to serve as election observers, per the request of the Episcopal Diocese of El Salvador.

Election observers basically record any wrongdoings. They do not intervene, but they are there to report anything that they see happen and can provide information if there are issues of election fraud. I think the Wikipedia article probably gives a good description. The Episcopal Church is acting as one of the agencies to bring in volunteers to monitor, and since we were going to be down there during the presidential election, they asked us to participate. Some of us would probably prefer to travel to a village and do a different, more active type of service trip, but are happy to help since they asked us to do this particular thing. The only real bummer, and a necessary one, of course, is that we have to go through an election observation training. I imagine sitting in a cinder block-walled room for a 1.5 days, while dreaming of hiking up one of El Salvador's many volcanoes.

I'm concerned about political violence. SAFETY AND SECURITY: Most travelers to El Salvador experience no safety or security problems, but the criminal threat in El Salvador is critical. Random and organized violent crime is endemic throughout El Salvador. U.S. citizens have not been singled out by reason of their nationality, but are subject to the same threat as all other persons in El Salvador.

Yeah. I know not to be stupid. Don't wear jewelry, don't dress fancy, don't try to buy drugs (no, mom, I wouldn't do it anyway), don't get involved in protests. I'm concerned about the crimes that we can't prevent. (Do you notice how when we hear about crimes, we usually want to know what the victim was doing so that we can prevent it? That is OK, but we often take the thoughts a step further, shaming the victim for doing whatever he was doing - as if he brought the crime on himself and deserved it. I don't want to be that kind of person.)

I'm gonna get a bit mortal here: I was weighing whether or not to go, considering that El Salvador is one of the more violent countries in this hemisphere (El Salvador has one of the highest homicide rates in the world, according to the Dept. of State.) I don't really know what my risk of crime is, and I'm pretty committed to going to as many countries as possible in my life. So, deciding to go, I thought, 'What are the things that I need to tell people just in case I die?' When I was in Honduras, I realized how important this was, and that I needed to be a bit less restrained when it comes to the really important things in life. For me, it was telling people that I loved them (in whichever way corresponded with whichever person). If I was sorry about something, I tried to be willing to tell the other person involved. If something needed resolution, I began to try to do what I could to resolve it. I think I became more willing to say and do what needed to be said, less afraid to hide or be ashamed. If I care, I need to show it and not hold back (at least most of the time - there are always exceptions to what should guide our behaviors). You live once - do it well.

Don't get me wrong: I want to do so many more things in life and am not ready to die or anything, but I was having trouble coming up with the big things that I needed to say, because I have been trying to say them since last year. There are always messages about world peace, inner peace, or existence, but those are a little cloudy right now. Somewhere in me are messages and things for my family, but they haven't quite cohered yet. For those I've told that I love, I still love you. (I wonder if you can un-love someone.) For those I haven't told yet or whose love I haven't understood yet, I will. Do you have things you would want to say if you knew you were going to die? Would you say those if you weren't going to die?

Anyway, back to tropical planning. I was just looking over our itinerary and there will be travel to quite a few sites. We are going to visit the museum of martyrs, where we will learn more about Romero and the six Jesuits martyred in 1989 for trying to have peace talks among warring factions. More information on our schedule later.

I'm really excited to be in a tropical climate. Winter takes a greater toll on me every year, and I do pretty well where it's humid and warm.

----

Classes are going fine. I wish that I could take three classes at once instead of four so that I could learn more. That would turn a three-year degree into a four-year degree and that's too long for me for a master's. We're reading Pragmatism: An Open Question by Hilary Putnam in philosophy class. We're evaluating ourselves as care-givers in Pastoral Care. Papers due soon in Religion and Foreign Policy and in Religion and Politics in the Black Community (Communities).

More soon, including some of the last of my pictures from Honduras last year. Jeff's posts remind me that I didn't finish some of the stories from last year. For now, sleep!

McCormick Top 10 Flavor Pairings - 2009

http://www.flavorforecast.com/

There in! McCormick's call for taste-bud bearers to combine different flavors, some of which make you really wonder if McCormick should be making spices anymore.

McCormick® Flavor Forecast™ 2009 top 10 flavor pairings:

1. Toasted Sesame and Root Beer
2. Cayenne and Tart Cherry
3. Tarragon and Beetroot
4. Peppercorn Mélange and Sake
5. Chinese Five Spice and Artisan-cured Pork
6. Dill and Avocado Oil
7. Rosemary and Fruit Preserves
8. Garam Masala and Pepitas
9. Mint and Quinoa
10. Smoked Paprika and Agave Nectar

Weird? Yum? Ew?

Does that really work for you?

This will be a post where I talk about potentially emotional topics. I'm someone who thinks we shield too much of our "personal growth crap". Be warned:

As I got into bed the other night I thought, 'Some people are good at being alone.' Then I amended that statement, changing it to functional or perhaps even successful. BUT: I know that we are supposed to be with others in one way or another. I think we are supposed to be paired up with another or in community with others. Otherwise, most of us aren't being what we could be, and we might find frustration in that or not.

I say this as someone who is functional and successful at being alone. I have been talking to a few friends lately and thinking about a few others, and have asked or thought about their relationship lives. Many of them have been in relationships almost continually for most of their adult lives. ("What's that like?" I've heard others ask. Continual dating/romance is foreign to many other people.) Perhaps they took a few weeks off from dating or perhaps they jumped right into the next relationship. I know plenty of folks who have no idea how to date, now idea how to open up to let someone even ask them out or to ask out someone, aside from actually engaging with someone in something deeper.

There are those who believe so wholeheartedly in staying single or alone, separate from community of some sort. I'd like to give them credit for maintaining this attitude so fervently (principles!), but I don't believe that they feel it wholly. It's presumptuous of me to assume that they're not telling the whole story about their feelings on being single for life. I make no universal claims and I make no claims to be right most of the time.

I think we are made for each other, though, even though we sometimes really hate people; even though we can be just. so. disappointed. by what they do or don't do. The right ones are worth something. And we are worth something. We are worth re-examining our principles, habits, fears, and walls for something that stretches us and makes us stronger and better. But there are some that just don't really know how to do that with another, or know if they need to be stretched that way.

I say that, too, as someone who is successful at being alone. Anyway, I'll think more on this and amend this post later. For now, I'd like to hear your thoughts this kind of stuff.

Phew! OK. Feel free to leave jokes, as well.
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Let there be at least one day per week that you get to be open.